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It’s that time of the year, Mane Landers! Each season I look at the new roster (or at least the new additions), and pair players with a craft beer. I base the pairings on what is funny, punny, or whatever else I like. The good news is that you get to agree, disagree, or make your own suggestions.
Second note: This article is strictly for the purpose of having fun. If you would like to take it too seriously, you are kindly invited to go read one of the many other serious articles available on The Mane Land. Thanks.
Nani - Sculpin IPA, Ballast Point
This is not Grapefruit Sculpin IPA. I’m talking about the original Sculpin IPA. It’s harder to find, and might be overshadowed by some of the other Sculpins, but is still one of the best IPAs to be had on the market. Plus it immediately makes an impact on your taste buds. If you can’t figure out why I picked this beer for Nani, then you need to read between the lines a bit better. Here’s how Ballast Point describes the beer:
“Our Sculpin IPA is a great example of what got us into brewing in the first place. After years of experimenting, we knew hopping an ale at five separate stages would produce something special. The result ended up being this gold-medal winning IPA, whose inspired use of hops creates hints of apricot, peach, mango and lemon flavors, but still packs a bit of a sting, just like a Sculpin fish.”
Jhegson Sebastián Méndez - Fear. Movie. Lions Double IPA, Stone Brewing
Sebas looks like he might be a holy terror in the midfield for opponents of Orlando City this season. They have reason to fear, and lions is in the name. I’m afraid I’ve got nothing for the movie part, but who cares as long as Méndez keeps up the good work? He’s how Stone describes their brew:
“Overall this unfiltered double IPA is juiced up with massive tropical & citrus notes. The mild bitterness and relatively dry body compliment the style, and the residual maltiness nicely rounds it out. Lingering lime peel and tropical fruit derived from the hops stand out on the finish, begging one to seek out more.”
Greg Ranjitsingh - Stranger than Fiction Porter, Collective Arts Porter
Greg is from the Great White North, which is the primary reason I picked this porter. Canadian, but not not quite as famous as other Canadians, much like Collective Arts Brewing isn’t as famous as other Canadian breweries. However, they’re both still pretty good. Let’s see what Collective Arts says about the beer:
“Stranger Than Fiction is a full-bodied porter with plenty of roast flavour with hints of molasses. Ridiculous amounts of chocolate and pale ale malts make this porter a smooth and creamy brew.”
Chris Mueller - Wisconsin Red Pale Ale, Leinenkugel Brewing Company
He’s not new to Orlando City, but that’s OK. There are no rules in this column except mine. Last, but certainly not least, this might have been the easiest of the group to figure out. Mueller played for the University of Wisconsin-Madison — check. He wore red when he played for them — check. Pale — check. How is this Midwesterner coping with the Florida sun? We only ask out of love and concern, Chris. No, you can’t get the beer here, but maybe Mueller will bring some back for us the next time he’s up north. Let’s see what Leinie’s says about the beer:
“Red, hop forward and exclusively for Wisconsin. We brewed this beer for our friends and neighbors here in our home state. Made with some of the finest quality ingredients, including some hops, barley, oats and water right here in Wisconsin. Its fresh hop aroma and flavor are perfectly balanced by rich malts that give it a distinctive red hue. A unique taste and proud tribute to our home state.”
That will do it. No, I did not do all the new players. If I did, the article would be so long that the editors would kill me, and then I wouldn’t be able to have more beer. That would be almost as big a tragedy as last season. Here’s to good beers and a better Orlando City season!