FanPost

My Orlando Wish List for 2020

It's that time of year, Nani Claus and Ruan the fleet foot reindeer are getting lots of wish lists and here's another...

- Competitive Team: We did better in 2019 than 2018 in the "don't get blown out" category. We won laughers against Cincinnati and at Montreal, but lost badly to Montreal, Philadelphia and Chicago at home and badly to San Jose and New England on the road. That's 2-5 in blowouts. I'd like to see that record even up next season.

- Entertaining Team: this is harder to quantify, but I'd like the team to stay on the front foot when getting the early lead. Too many times last season, we seemed to try to win 1-0 and it bit us late. It is more fun to watch a team go for a 2nd than to watch them defend for their lives. We improved in this area IMO in 2019 over 2018 as well, but there is room to improve.

- A Win Over Atlanta: Now we are getting to the Wish part of the Wish List. Just one. I don't care how. Skin of teeth, blowout, 1-0 or 5-4, late dubious penalty against them or Guzan throws it into his net, home or away, on grass or turf, in sweltering heat or air conditioned cold, it doesn't matter. Just one. Hopefully the first one, then I'll consider whether I want to get greedy or surrender the 2nd one because my wish was granted.

- A Miami shirt that further depicts their crest as a guy jerking off with a bird on each shoulder: Preferably the shirt is purple. I'm not sure how to make the shirt without an actual dong but I'd start with putting eyes on the face next to that huge grin. Maybe adding shoes to the feet would do it.