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Which Craft Beer is your Favorite Orlando City Player: New Guys Edition

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The following is for the purposes of having fun. Those that can’t have fun should move along.

MLS: Orlando City SC at Philadelphia Union Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Note: We at The Mane Land believe in the responsible consumption of alcohol. If, as an adult of legal drinking age, you decide to drink alcohol, we urge you to please ensure you do so in a safe manner, and never drink and drive.

Last year, we matched up your favorite Orlando City players with craft beers. It seemed to go over well. Then, a few weeks ago we decided to do the same for some Orlando Pride players. There was a little consternation, and we had to remind everyone that this is just for fun! To keep feathers from getting too ruffled, I’m only including players that are of legal drinking age in the United States. So, that being said, let’s concentrate on some of the new Lions we’ll be seeing this upcoming season.

Yoshimar Yotún - Mutha Fuggle EPA, Tomoka Brewing Co.

Mutha Fuggle is approximately what defenders exclaim when Yoshi’s moves make them look silly as he patrols the Orlando City midfield. Here is the description of the beer:

“This English Pale ale is a malt-forward, easy drinking ale with nice strong bittering and citrusy Hop Aroma. Brewed with British malts, hops and yeast for an old world taste with a new world twist!”

Sacha Kljestan - McStagger Imperial IPA, Crooked Can Brewing

Sacha “The ‘Stache” Kljestan has been accused of playing too aggresively and going down too easy. At 9.0% ABV, the same could be said of Crooked Can’s McStagger Imperial IPA. Plus, the guy on the can has a mustache. Sweet! Here is the description of the beer:

“McStagger may leave you longing for the balance this Imperial IPA delivers. The nearly 100 IBUs achieved by our heavy-handed hop additions pack a kick that may have you reaching for the walls. The hops are perfectly countered with a healthy dose of malt that will bring you back to center. This juxtaposition creates a full-bodied, robust, warming Double IPA true to style and ideal for sipping.”

Dom Dwyer - ROARlando Citrus Golden Ale, M.I.A. Beer Company

This one is pretty obvious, as “ROARlando” is Dom’s spiritual home, and he is our golden boy. Here is the description of the beer:

“Golden ale brewed with ruby red grapefruit and hibiscus.”

Oriol Rosell - Rollin’ Dirty Irish-Style Red Ale, Brew Bus Brewing

No, Uri is not Irish. No, Uri is not a dirty player. Yes, Uri is a ginger, and so I had to go with a Red Ale of some sort. Let’s face it, when you first saw him you thought he looked pretty intimidating, even though this beer is not. Here is the description of the beer:

“An Irish style red ale, deep amber in color with a forward caramel flavor and hints of chocolate. English hops lend an herbal bitterness for balance.”

Stefano Pinho - Domino Pilsner, M.I.A. Beer Company

When Orlando City played Miami FC and Mr. Pinho was on the other side of the pitch, he scored goals like he was toppling dominoes. Fortunately, we have Stefano in purple now. Here is the description of the beer:

“A light-bodied German-style Pilsner lager with a well balanced noble hop presence leaning more toward the aromatic side. Floral, earthy, & spicy noble hops paint a beautiful portrait in a style many consider to be the first beer to truly showcase the range & complexity of hop flowers.”

Jose Villarreal - Up River American Pale Ale, Central 28 Brewing Co.

Jose’s career has been against the tide as he had to deal with megastar after megastar with the LA Galaxy. Now that he’s with Orlando City, perhaps his journey up river is over and he can find that which he has been searching for. This is a complex beer for a complex player. Here is the description of the beer:

“Up River is a classic, aggressively hopped American pale ale, if that’s the direction you’re headed. This copper gem has a huge hop bouquet with floral, citrus and pine notes merging together in a steady stream of aromatic beauty. With just enough malt for balance, the hop flavors and aromas careen from resinous pine to grapefruit zest, finishing with clean, pleasant bitterness.”

That’s going to do it. Once again, I’ve left out plenty of players to allow you to come up with your own matches in the comments. Let’s just have fun with this!