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The Mane Land 2016 MLS Power Rankings: Week 12

Orlando drops, LA stays top (again) and a now coachless Houston brings up the rear in this week's power rankings.

My favorite Scotsman is out in Houston. Hey Dynamo, I'm available.
My favorite Scotsman is out in Houston. Hey Dynamo, I'm available.
Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

As impending international tournaments stripped lots of rosters of their best players, MLS kept on keeping on this week with a full slate of action. Take some of this week's results with large grains of salt; some of the teams we saw this week were shadows of their normal selves.

1. LA Galaxy (Last Week: 1)

Poor Brian Rowe. The LA net-minder let in the winner from a Didier Drogba free kick in a move that made you wonder if he has fingers or just nubs on the ends of his arms.

Still, it was only LA's second loss of the season, which is tied for lowest in the league.

2. Colorado Rapids (Last Week: 2)

Colorado drew at home this week without Jermaine Jones, which is a fine result. After the Copa América the Rapids will regain Jones and add Tim Howard, so the objective in the meantime will be to ride the wave of momentum that has began to roll without taking on too much water.

3. FC Dallas (Last Week: 3)

If someone had asked Dallas to take a point before the game just so they could avoid being on the same field as San Jose, I think they might have said yes. That is effectively what happened with its 0-0 draw there this week.

4. San Jose Earthquakes (Last Week: 5)

San Jose is making the annual trip into the top five for a team that has zero chance to win the MLS Cup. Way to represent the hopeless masses, San Jose.

5. New York Red Bulls (Last Week: 11)

New York finds itself (suddenly) one point out of first place in the East, and has outscored opponents 11-0 over the course of its current three-game winning streak. Don't look now, but the team that won 7-0 last week is becoming a force to be reckoned with on the right coast.

6. Philadelphia Union (Last Week: 6)

Philly holds on to first place in the East by its fingernails. Unbeaten in seven, the Union need to go from not losing to winning as five of those games have been draws.

7. Vancouver Whitecaps (Last Week: 7)

Two reds in the Caps' clash with Houston that saw them draw 1-1. Vancouver is currently in third place in the league, but has a negative goal differential. Vancouver is one of three teams to be over the red line and have a negative goal differential, and is the only team out West fitting those criteria.

8. Real Salt Lake (Last Week: 4)

Wild near-comeback in C-Bus for RSL that saw them get back into the game to lose by just one. No Kyle Beckerman for RSL, which fielded a lineup without Beckerman, Burrito, or Yura Movsisyan.

9. Montreal Impact (Last Week: 15)

Big time victory for the Impact over LA to end their month-long skid without a win. I've been pretty clear with my shade for Didier Drogba, but by the looks his goal celebrations, the Ivorian is having a blast playing for Montreal. Either that, or someone told Drogba he gets to take a practice off for every goal Montreal scores.

10. Portland Timbers (Last Week: 9)

Portland drew at Chicago this week, which is really similar to drawing in a boxing match with a guy who actually throws his face into your punches so as to make it easier for them to land.

11. Toronto FC (Last Week: 8)

No Bradley, no Altidore and no Giovinco this week for TFC, meaning the Reds fielded a bunch of scrubs this week in their MLS game that actually counts in the standings.

12. D.C. United (Last Week: 16)

A D.C. win away at Kansas City Friday proved that when the weather gets ugly, ugly teams have an advantage, which is as back-handed a compliment as I've ever written.

13. Orlando City (Last Week: 12)

Orlando is now tied for the league lead in draws with New England. This is not a category you want to lead.

14. Sporting Kansas City (Last Week: 10)

SKC ought to be used to losing Graham Zusi and Matt Besler during the summer months, but that doesn't make winning without them any easier.

15. New England (Last Week: 17)

Oh hey New England, nice to see you in the win column again. That makes two W's in the Revs' last three games, and the team that was previously the drawingest in the league hasn't left a game with only a point in a month.

16. New York City FC (Last Week: 11)

Giving up a two-goal lead at home is never good, but especially not good on the heels of a historic blowout loss.

17. Columbus Crew (Last Week: 18)

Kamara scored the first hat-trick in 12 years for C-Bus. Ola Kamara, that is. Kei decided he'd rather let Lee Nguyen take penalties for him than Federico Higuaín.

18. Seattle Sounders (Last Week: 13)

Three losses in a row for Seattle, which is going to need all the help it can get without Clint Dempsey over the next couple of weeks.

19. Chicago Fire (Last Week: 19)

This might be the worst clearance I've ever seen in my life.

20. Houston Dynamo (Last Week: 20)

The Owen Coyle era in Houston is over and Houston feels like it's about two months away from blowing things up and starting over again in the very middle of its rebuilding project. Outwardly, Coyle appeared to be central in the decision-making process for the Dynamo so this feels a bit like an overreaction to a bad year, or a referendum on the current trajectory of the team.