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The Mane Land 2016 Major League Soccer Power Rankings: Week 9

LA stays at No. 1 and Orlando drops a place in this week's power rankings. Plus, we finally know where Frank Lampard is!

If I looked like Lletget, I'd take my shirt off a lot too.
If I looked like Lletget, I'd take my shirt off a lot too.
Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

Another week in MLS, and another week where it becomes even more apparent that the balance of power in the league has decidedly shifted towards the Pacific Ocean. A team that currently plays in the Eastern Conference hasn't won the MLS Cup since 2008 (SKC won out of the East in 2013, but has since moved West) and this season only three of the top 10 teams in the Supporters' Shield standings are Eastern Conference teams. Additionally, six of the bottom seven teams are East of the Mississippi.

If you like good soccer, you might want to start staying up past your bedtime.

1. LA Galaxy (Last Week: 1)

To boot, LA has a goal differential of +12, which is seven more than the next highest team (Colorado).

2. Colorado Rapids (Last Week: 4)

Jermaine Jones has scored three goals in four games since becoming a Rapid, which is almost as astonishing as the fact that Colorado currently leads the league. Through 10 games, Colorado has accumulated 20 points, which is tied with LA for most points per game (2).

3. Toronto FC (Last Week: 6)

Everyone has been talking about the new BMO Field, and I must admit that I was impressed with how the Reds' home looked and sounded through my television. There was a din of noise throughout the game that you don't often find in MLS, and the supposed "state of the art" lighting system was up to billing. The whole scene was worthy of being called "Major League." Too bad it took football and the CFL for all of it to come about.

4. FC Dallas (Last Week: 3)

That little bump in the road for Dallas has now turned into three straight losses, all of which have come on the road. Still think in the long run this team will be A-OK, but losing by a combined eight goals should turn some heads and raise some eyebrows in that locker room.

5. Real Salt Lake (Last Week: 2)

A loss in the fictional rivalry known as the "Rocky Mountain Cup" must really be hurting the egos in that RSL locker room. All six Colorado fans will really stick it to their RSL compatriots at the water cooler this week.

6. San Jose Earthquakes (Last Week: 5)

7. Montreal Impact (Last Week: 7)

Wild and crazy comeback for Montreal on the road in Columbus. Ignacio Piatti had two goals in the wild comeback, bringing him one step closer to playing in my personal All-MLS Dream Team midfield next to Diego Valeri and underneath Sebastian Giovinco.

8. Philadelphia Union (Last Week: 9)

9. Vancouver Whitecaps (Last Week: 10)

Vancouver beat Portland this week to give them wins over both of their Cascadia rivals so far this season. It was a really useful victory, because the Cascadia Cup is the only silverware this team has a chance to win this season (besides the Canadian Cup, which doesn't count).

10. Sporting Kansas City (Last Week: 8)

Six games without a win for Kansas City, which is tied with New England for the longest such streak in the league.

11. Seattle Sounders (Last Week: 13)

Jordan Morris has scored four goals in four games, which ties a rookie record. I can't wait for him to make the Copa América roster and then sit the bench behind Chris Wondolowski.

12. Portland Timbers (Last Week: 11)

So if Portland misses the playoffs this year, how long does the championship honeymoon period last for Caleb Porter?

13. Orlando City SC (Last Week: 12)

Though I don't think Adrian Heath is anywhere close to deserving of being fired, the talk about his job does make me wonder where the line should be for an MLS coach. MLS is a league where 12 of the 20 teams make the postseason, so at what point does playoff contention not matter? You can't rationalize a coach's worth by saying he's guiding his team to the playoffs when literally every team is in playoff contention, can you?

14. New York Red Bulls (Last Week: 14)

So glad the Red Bulls are in the Eastern Conference. After losing six of their first seven games to start the season, New York is over the red line for the first time this season. Red Bull: It gives you wings (to fly out of the basement and into the playoffs)!

15. New York City FC (Last Week: 18)

Don't look now, but NYCFC is two points out of first place in the East. Also, I think we've found a television partner for the reality show I created last week, "Where in the World is Frank Lampard?" I must say, I'm delighted that the BBC has taken interest in the concept.

16. D.C. United (Last Week: 15)

If D.C. United can somehow pull itself together and make a run at the MLS Cup late in the year, I might just quit soccer all together. This team stinks and is as uninteresting as watching two 90-year-old men play long-distance chess by mailing each other their moves every week.

17. New England Revolution (Last Week: 14)

After playing 11 games, you wouldn't think that a team would be able to only win one of them and still remain squarely in the playoff hunt. Welcome to MLS, where you can go 1-for-11 and still be considered successful.

18. Columbus Crew SC (Last Week: 17)

C-Bus gave up a 4-1 lead in its 4-4 tie with Montreal this week, which gave everyone the opportunity to see the Jekyll and Hyde of the Crew's potential to be a good team against what they actually are.

19. Houston Dynamo (Last Week: 20)

Houston got a much-needed victory this week to vault the Dynamo out of last place. Win or lose, the sudden rise of Andrew Wenger from "guy who once was the first overall pick" to "functional player" has been notable. It's not often you see a first overall pick traded twice before succeeding, but with three goals in nine games the former Dookie may have found a home in Houston.

20. Chicago Fire (Last Week: 19)

The Fire didn't play this week, which saved me from having to give a crap about them.