Let's all take a deep breath, because I know that wasn't fun.
Orlando City lost to the Seattle Sounders 4-0 on Sunday, in a game that underscored everything that's wrong with the 2015 Lions. A patchwork back line was unable to contain Obafemi Martins, as the Sounders star notched a brace in the victory. 19-year old Tyler Turner played like a 19-year old, getting sent off in the first half, and Kaká played one of his worst games of the season.
Add all those things together and you're probably going to get a blowout. That's not to say Orlando can't come back from this, but I know you're probably not in the mood for a pep talk right now.
I'm just going to leave your Monday morning Lion Links on the counter. They're here if you want them.
Recapping the Loss Against Seattle
I mean, you've already made it this far right? Here's The Mane Land's wall-to-wall coverage of Sunday's loss. Feel free to read this while listening to some heavy metal or reminding yourself that Seattle also gave us Starbucks and really miserable weather. Also included is the game recap from our friends over at Sounder at Heart.
Struggling MLS Clubs Taken to Task by Journalists, Supporters
At this point in the season, several clubs are already facing the harsh reality that MLS glory isn't going to be in the cards this year. While nobody has yet been eliminated from the playoff race, it's never too early to start eulogizing those clubs that can already begin dreaming of better things to come in 2016.
Or, you could take a more productive approach.
That's what Chicago Tribune journalist John Kass did in a recent editorial focusing on the Chicago Fire and their miserable 2015 campaign, which finds the club mired in last place in the Eastern Conference. Spoiler Alert: the gloves come off.
Here's Fire blogger Guillermo Rivera, quoted in the article:
"The Fire have been around since '98. And they've lived up to their 'Tradition, Honor, Passion' credo for years, making playoffs and being respected," Rivera told me over the phone Thursday.
"But over the past six years, it has been the absolute opposite. You see the results and the way the organization has been run. I'm seeing fans who've been around since the beginning, fans who love the Fire, now turning their backs. They're slipping further and further into irrelevancy."
Across the country, the Colorado Rapids are slogging through an equally miserable campaign. Eight points out of the final playoff spot (the most of any team in MLS), the Rapids' struggles have led to a "re-branding" from their SB Nation blog The Burgundy Wave. See if you can spot it...
Louisville City on SportsCenter? Louisville City on SportCenter.
On paper, it was a 2-2 draw for Louisville City, as they picked up a crucial point against Tulsa Roughnecks FC on the road. But none of that really mattered because of what City midfielder (and former Orlando City player) Aodhan Quinn did in the 19th minute.
The goal was good enough to earn the No. 5 spot on SportsCenter's nightly Top Ten countdown and proved to be crucial in earning Louisville a point on the road. Orlando City will face Quinn in a friendly between the two clubs scheduled for Aug. 25th at Louisville Slugger Park.
Let's Meet David Mateos
The Lions posted an interview with Mateos on the club website, as the former Real Madrid man spoke (in Spanish, with subtitles) about his excitement in joining the club and how the growth of MLS impacted his decision to join the league. It's pretty standard stuff, but it's nice to finally get a look at one of Orlando's big summer signings.
USWNT Beats Costa Rica 8-0 in Front of Record 44,028 in Pittsburgh
The USWNT faced CONCACAF minnow Costa Rica in their first match following their World Cup victory earlier this summer. Over 44,000 fans packed into Heinz Field to watch the U.S. thump Costa Rica 8-0, in a game that was never really close.
The record-breaking crowd is the largest to ever watch a USWNT friendly, though that mark could fall with nine games left to play during the USWNT's "Victory Tour."
The action on the field was...well there were a lot of goals from the U.S. women. Some of the highlights included a hat trick from Christen Press, capped off by this beautiful chip.
As well as Heather O'Reilly converting off an assist from Press and the crossbar.
But the best play of the afternoon belonged to hometown hero Meghan Klingenberg, who celebrated her goal the only way someone from Pittsburgh possibly could.
The USWNT faces Costa Rica again on Wednesday night in Chattanooga. The game begins at 6:30 p.m. on ESPN2.
That's it for Lion Links today. Don't shout at your cat this morning.