The Mane Land MLS Power Rankings: Week 15

Of the five MLS matches that took place this week, there were 20 International call-ups that had to miss games with their clubs. That doesn't even include Jermaine Jones, who would've been with the U.S. had he not blown out his groin. I don't like that and neither should you. But you know who doesn't care?

This guy.

1. Seattle Sounders (Last Week: 2)

I'll wait to see what the Steven Gerrard Summer Transfer Window brings to MLS, but I'm just about ready to crown Seattle as the overwhelming MLS Cup favorites this season. They've got all the firepower they need to plow through the West, and with LA looking perhaps a little too heavy to make weight this year, the Sounders may not even need to exorcise their Galaxian playoff demons.

2. Sporting Kansas City (Last Week: 1)

On the same note, Kansas City doesn't beat a full strength Seattle last week. That's a fact.

3. D.C. United (Last Week: 3)

Despite losing twice in a row, D.C. is still four points clear in first place.

4. New England Revolution (Last Week: 5)

Obligatory post of that Diego Fagundez goal.

Fagundez is the MLS equivalent of that college basketball player who seems to stay in school for like seven years. You forget about him, then turn on a game and say, "Holy crap, that guy is still plays for them?!" (I'm looking at you Aaron Craft, Chris Lofton, and Chuck Hayes.) Fagundez is only 20! It feels like he's been with the Revs since '04.

5. Vancouver Whitecaps (Last Week: 6)

6. Toronto FC (Last Week: 7)

7. FC Dallas (Last Week: 4)

It must suck being a Dallas fan. With two playoff appearances since 2011, the Hoops have been relatively competitive lately, but they have also been one of the most enigmatic clubs in the league. As I watched Seattle pummel Dallas this weekend, it occurred to me that every year Dallas seemingly goes on an inexplicably craptastic streak. So I did a little investigating.

Dallas' Craptastic Streaks Since 2011

2011 Worst Streak: one win in eight games, including three losses, from 8/6 through 10/1

2012 Worst Streak: 13 games without a win, including seven losses total and six L's in seven games, from 4/21 through 7/7

2013 Worst Streak: 11 games without a win, including five losses, from 6/15 through 8/18

2014 Worst Streak: eight games without a win, including six losses and and four L's in a row, from 4/26 through 5/31

2015 Current Streak: five games without a win, including three losses, from 5/15 to ?

So, if you have a friend or two in the DFW area who roots for the Artists Formerly Known as the Burn, you may want give them a call advising them to turn their TVs away from Dallas games for awhile. This could just be the beginning.

8. Portland Timbers (Last Week: 8)

9. LA Galaxy (Last Week: 9)

10. Houston Dynamo (Last Week: 10)

11. Orlando City (Last Week: 14)

Orlando City won, but I really think we need to reconsider the whole "Kaka is taking the penalties" thing. That PK was almost as bad as Cameron Carter-Vickers' in the U-20 World Cup.

12. New York Red Bulls (Last Week: 11)

13. Columbus Crew (Last Week: 12)

14. San Jose Earthquakes (Last Week: 13)

15. Real Salt Lake (Last Week: 15)

16. New York City FC (Last Week: 18)

Sal, the Fictional Sports Fan from the Bronx on NYCFC's win: "Eeey, what's all that cheerin' comin' from da stadium? I don't unnastand. Tha Yanx are outta town tonight."

The Soccer Yankees won in impressive fashion over Montreal, but Sal wasn't impressed.

17. Philadelphia Union (Last Week: 20)

The last four teams in the MLS Standings all sit on 14 points, and Philly has won three of four. That's equivalent to being the skinniest boy at Fat Camp. It's impressive, but only in comparison to the other bad teams.

18. Colorado Rapids (Last Week: 19)

Colorado has allowed the second fewest goals in MLS this season.

19. Chicago Fire (Last Week: 17)

20. Montreal Impact (Last Week: 16)