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Throwin' Shade: Montreal...French or Canadian? Eh, who cares?

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It took many a Guiness, but the nightmare of last weekend is finally behind me. This week, we have some fun with those Frenchies from Montreal.

Winslow Townson-USA TODAY Sports

Before we get started, I'd like to address the issue of fan violence. The spirit of this article is entirely meant for fun. We all want to go to the games, scream and yell and lose our minds, and some friendly banter always adds to the experience. There's no need for it to ever escalate. It's simple, really. Just don't be a moron. Remember that when you put that purple on, you become a representative of not just yourself, but the team you love and the city you live in. Represent it well. People are watching.

Last week, we had a lot of fun at Canada's expense. This weekend, with Orlando City SC taking a trip to Montreal to take on the Impact, we're dealing with not just Canadians, no, but French Canadians. I'll try to keep things civil.

Quebec, home province of Montreal, is the only province in Canada to recognize a language other than English as its native tongue, opting for French instead. Imagine if Texas were to say, "We'll just speak Spanish. Deal with it." That's how the rest of Canada thinks of Quebec. And that's the opinions of Canadians, which of course mean next to nothing (with nothing being the opinions of French Canadians, obviously).

After missing out on MLS expansion in 2008, MLS Commissioner Don Garber threw them a pity bone, allowing them into the league officially in 2010 to begin play in 2012.

It didn't start well.

With a seventh-place finish and a semi-final exit in something called the Canadian Championship (shut up it's serious!) Montreal entered with quite the thud.

"Ce ne est pas le hockey," said the Frenchadians. That's French for "This is not hockey."

They figured it out a bit their second season, making a cameo in the playoffs before heading back to the ice ponds for winter.

Last season, the Impact were just bad. Finishing dead last in the league, you wonder how it's possible with their one Designated Player. It's a shame the January window happens right after the NHL All-Star break, maybe the people running the team would have been paying attention and brought in some talent.

While it's true we'll be missing some players to international duty, Montreal will be missing some bodies of their own.

For one, Cameron Porter's knee exploded as if it were a building in a Michael Bay film.

I don't wish injury on anybody. We wish the American a full and speedy recovery.

They'll also be without the league's worst diver, Hassoun Camara. First, he took someone out while feigning as if he'd been fouled.

Then, he had no shame as he attempted an NFL-esque open field tackle on Juan Agudelo.

We let one team from that block of ice steal a win. Not again, not this time. Where will you be watching the game when our Orlando City Lions walk into Montreal, make an Impact of their own, and bring three points back to the land of the free?