If you were looking to forget your pitiful excuse of a bracket on Saturday by doing something other than watching the NCAA Tournament, you might have been better off heading to your favorite watering hole than changing the television to the MLS action. Of the six games played Saturday, half were scoreless draws. Half! Maybe MLS should look to shorten its shot clock too.
Here's this week's edition of the internet's most accurate MLS power rankings.
1. LA Galaxy (Last Week: 1)
The Champs stay in first place, despite not winning for two weeks running. The Galaxy are at the top of the MLS class. They just keep chugging along, losing here and there, but Bruce Arena seems to always have his guys clicking on all cylinders at some point in the regular season before the glide through the playoffs. It's doubtful that LA stays in first place in these rankings all year, but it'll take something worse than an undefeated first three games to the season to dethrone them.
2. FC Dallas (Last Week: 6)
Dallas is the only team to take the maximum nine points in the first three weeks of league play, and the Hoops' attack has been rampant. Blas Perez and Tesho Akindele figure to be a powerful scoring combination all year, but when you also get a goal from a guy whose name is Hollingshead, you know that you're going to move up in these rankings.
3. Seattle Sounders (Last Week: 2)
4. Columbus Crew (Last Week: 3)
5. New York Red Bulls (Last Week: 7)
NYRB succssfully showed that life after Thierry might not be as rough as we feared. BWP showed he's more than just a finisher, and Jesse Marsch withstood the jeers from his own fans by deploying last year's league-leading scorer in a more impactful and creative role.
Wright-Phillips was all over the field, as you can see from this chart (courtesy of mlssoccer.com). Will Marsch make Red Bulls fans forget about Mike Petke? He's doing pretty well so far.
6. Toronto FC (Last Week: 5)
7. D.C. United (Last Week: 4)
8. New York City FC (Last Week: 8)
I know you guys are new, but around here you're not allowed to play 0-0 draws, especially against the Colorado Moustaches. We'll let you pass this time, but next time there will be consequences.
Sincerely, Soccer Fans Everywhere
9. Real Salt Lake (Last Week: 10)
10. Vancouver Whitecaps (Last Week: 11)
As my friend Jeremy would say, Vancouver left the Citrus Bowl like a thief in the night.
11. San Jose Earthquakes (Last Week: 12)
It's two straight for the Quakes, as they opened up the largest outdoor bar in North America with a 2-1 win over the Fightin' Harry Shipps of Chicago. I'm marginally impressed. MLS teams which are opening new stadiums are 9-2-4 all time. Especially when you consider the opposition, San Jose was always going to win this one.
12. Orlando City (Last Week: 9)
The Lions drop this week due to one reason and one reason only: shot accuracy. Judging by the numbers, Orlando dominated the game against Vancouver in just about every statistical category. Per mlssoccer.com, Orlando had 63% of possession and a 12-9 advantage in shots. To boot, Orlando also had the ball in the attacking half much more than their Canadian counterparts, completing 381 passes there (to 173 for Vancouver), including 154 in the final third (to 62 for Vancouver). Where did Vancouver have the advantage? 3-1 in terms of shots on target. Dominating the game like that without scoring is an open invitation for the opposition to break your heart on a stoppage time set piece.
13. Portland Timbers (Last Week: 13)
14. Houston Dynamo (Last Week: 15)
15. Sporting Kansas City (Last Week: 16)
If I were a school teacher and Portland and Kansas City were in my class, I'd pull them out in the hall for a conversation that threatened detention. We cannot tolerate any more behavior like this.
16. Philadelphia Union (Last Week: 17)
17. Colorado Rapids (Last Week: 15)
Here's some food for thought:
Gabriel Torres for Panama in 2013 Gold Cup: eight appearances, five goals.
Gabriel Torres for Colorado: 32 appearances, six goals.
18. New England Revolution (Last Week: 18)
Here's some more food for thought:
New England with Jermaine Jones in 2014: 11-2-2, 31 goals.
New England without Jermaine Jones in 2015: 0-2-1, 0 goals.
19. Montreal Impact (Last Week: 19)
20. Chicago Fire (Last Week: 20)
Anyone want to head up to Chi-Town and play some soccer? I hear they're taking applications.