This game took off as soon as is started, with USMNT captain Clint Dempsey accepting a gift just 18 seconds in to the match.
San Jose's Chris Wondolowski responded with two to take the lead back before Innocent Emeghara did this to seal the deal with his side a man down.
Obafemi Martins would send one home in the 84th to make things interesting, but San Jose would hold on for the final result. With the win, San Jose wins for the first time in a 16-game stretch reaching back to last season.
In a game full of weird goals and bad defense, Real Salt Lake was able to overcome two boneheaded plays that led to Fernando Aristeguieta goals within five minutes of each other to sneak away with a draw and a point against the Philadelphia Union. Minutes after scoring an equalizer, Salt Lake's Jamison Olave put a cross into the back of his own net to give the lead right back.
The official would seemingly bail out RSL in the 85th minute, awarding a penalty kick and what appeared to be an OCSC simulation yellow card, allowing Alvaro Saborio the chance to seal the draw and the point.
FC Dallas 3 - 1 Sporting KC
Blas Perez continued his fine early season form for FC Dallas, scoring the first two goals for his side en route to a big victory and three points.
Following Perez's opening goal in the 17th minute, Sporting Kansas City's Roger Espinoza fired this ballistic missile that keeper Craig Steitz couldn't keep out of the back of the net to tie the match up at one apiece.
In another example of A+ officiating, somehow it was missed that half of Dallas was offside as Perez benefited in the form of the game-winning goal in the 52nd.
With the deflating realization that they were being officiated by blind men, KC limped to the finish as Dallas coasted to the 3-1 victory.
In a match that saw our next visiting opponents pull a 1-0 win out of their hat, there were plenty of nail-biting plays that just missed the mark for both sides. Whitecaps keeper David Ousted was in fine form, turning away everything from a Shaun Maloney set piece to a Joevin Jones beauty and everything in between. As Quincy Amarikwa, Harrison Shipp and Maloney came up with chance after chance, Ousted turned them away like a bouncer rejecting fake IDs.
Following what appeared to be an unwise tactical decision in the form of reshuffling the back line with the substitution of Kennedy Igboananike, the Chicago defense lacked any semblance of Fire in the second half. Advancing at will and creating plenty of chances, it was only the play of keeper Jon Busch that kept Chicago alive.
Eventually, Busch couldn't overcome the defensive lapses, as stellar team play led to this Octavio Rivero game winning goal in the 86th minute.
Columbus Crew 2 - 0 Toronto FC
What was an entertaining duel got real ugly in the second half, as Toronto struggled to adapt to a man disadvantage inherited when Justin Morrow was sent off just before halftime for taking out Columbus Crew' SC's Ethan Finlay and denying a clear goal-scoring chance.
Finlay would again find space in the 57th minute, using it this time to launch a cross perfectly onto the dome of Justin Meram to put Columbus on the board.
Not to be outdone by their teammates, Waylon Francis connected on a gross cross of his own to Kei Kamara for the definitive second goal. Just as classy as the play? The celebration. A+, good sir.
The Boston-New York rivalry was revived when NYCFC hosted the Revolution on a baseball field Sunday evening. Despite the joke of a field and punchline of a camera view we were subjected to, the game itself certainly had its moments.
David Villa was on the hunt early, generating chance after chance before finally beating Bobby Shuttleworth in the 19th minute, following solid play with Ned Grabavoy.
Diego Fagundez connected with Juan Agudelo on a dangerous cross into the box that was somehow stopped by Josh Saunders, a save Agudelo surely still isn't over.
Villa struck again in the 84th, this time using a slick dribble to set up an easy tally for second-half sub Patrick Mullins for the insurance goal and the first win in franchise history.
Portland Timbers 2 - 2 LA Galaxy
Two western conference contenders battled to the death on Fox Sports 1 Sunday night, with neither team able to take the three cleanly after both scored in the game's waning moments.
The raucous crowd absolutely lost their mind in the 90th minute, when Fernando Adi scored his second goal of the game to put Portland up 2-1 and seemingly seal the win.
As the Galaxy lined up for a set piece in stoppage time, former USL Timber-turned-Galaxy Alan Gordon battled for position in the box before this happened.
That sound you hear? That's the sound of an entire city collectively hating one man as they've never hated anything before.
There was tons of quality play all around the league, from hustle goals to sizzling team play, beautiful free kicks and stone cold killers in net. We all know the play of the week, though.
Like it could be anything else?