Relax, Lion Nation. Before you start wandering around downtown, slowly trudging your way to the Citrus Bowl this weekend, wondering where the smell of glorious meat and the sounds of bean bags smacking plywood have gone, know this -- City is off this weekend. But, have no fear. Wade's got your back.
Since (at least) March of this year, you all have bled purple. Whether it be Tuesday night's Coach's Show on the radio, the weekend home game, away games at your official Orlando City Pubs or the beautiful midweek break that was the Wednesday night game, it has been all Orlando City, all the time.
I get it.
But we can't let a bye week get us down. We have to move on, as human beings, and enjoy our weekends when the boys are lucky enough to get some time off. I guess there's only one question left.
Just what the hell do we do, exactly?
Lucky for you, I've got a plan.
It's 4:45 p.m.. You're staring at the second hand; tick, tock. Five can't come quickly enough. Then, you remember. There are no MLS games on Friday night. There's no football. The Magic are still playing preseason games. Now what?
If you're a hockey fan -- and, you should be -- you'll be okay. You can watch the Red Wings thrash Toronto (seriously, the Leafs losing never gets old), check out the defending Stanley Cup Champion Blackhawks battle the Islanders, or tune in for the dynamic New York Rangers putting on a show against Columbus. They may not be the Crew, but who doesn't want to see a Columbus sports team lose?
If a night in with a beautiful sport won't cut it for you, Orlando is not a ghost town. Pop punk aficionados likely already have their tickets to the All Time Low concert at UCF Arena, but if not, don't let that get you down. Tickets are still on sale, and if you're in to that type of music, they don't suck.
If you're looking to get out of the house but aren't in the mood for a rock concert, the Epcot Food & Wine Festival just might be for you. Check out the Cronuts outside of Canada -- seriously, they're worth the ridiculous price.
Wake up, sleepy. Get some coffee. Black, you've earned it. Regardless of which path you chose Friday night, one thing's for sure -- it didn't quite quench that Orlando City thirst. How could it? Cristian Higuita didn't even tackle anybody.
Lucky for you, Saturday in America means one thing -- college football. Unlucky for you, the University of Central Florida team is a bit of a laughingstock. So much so, that when downtown bar The Basement announced they'd be giving away free beer during games until the Knights won a game, the Orlando Sentinel warned they may soon be known as The Bankrupt. The Knights are taking on Cyle Larin's alma mater, UConn.
Don't you worry your mind with that, though. There's free beer. What are you waiting for? Kickoff is at 3:45 p.m., but please arrive at least 15 minutes late so I can get a head start. Thanks. Come talk some City, I'll be the guy -- as my friends like to put it -- in the stupid hat.
This is when decisions need to be made. The options are endless here. For starters, if you need some soccer in your life, the U-23 U.S. team will be facing Honduras at 3 p.m. ET on Telemundo. Gedion Zelalem alone is worth 90 minutes of your time. If this bit of international soccer has given you the MLS itch, you'll want to check out the Colorado Rapids do whatever they can to play spoiler against the Montreal Impact.
We know the story with Montreal. They need to lose games, and we need to win games. We can get into how they can draw, but we have to win, or yada yada yada this scenario and that scenario. Bottom line, Colorado beating Montreal would be nice. Not huge. Huge is our games. Help is nice. Problem is, Colorado is bad. Real bad. Maybe you tune in, send your good vibes and Montreal continues to see its momentum come to a screeching halt. It certainly couldn't help the cause. The kick off is around 6 p.m. ET.
If you're looking to support a team because you actually like them, and not because you need the team they're playing to lose, then you'll want to tune in to USA vs. Mexico on FS1. A late game at 9:30 p.m., this is your perfect nightcap. Check out some of the best we've got beat Mexico once again. My prediction? Dos a Cero.
Maybe you need something a little bigger than that. It's Saturday night, damn it, and you're going to head to a stadium and watch some soccer. Lucky for you, The Mane Land's own Austin David has your back, as he'll be calling the action in Winter Park when the No. 16 Rollins women's soccer team plays host to No. 8 Barry University at Barker Family Stadium, starting at 7 p.m. These women can bring it -- check out two of the best teams in the nation right in your own backyard.
Hit the snooze button. You've earned it. Once you're done headbutting that button until you can't anymore, you know there are only two things that will save you. Breakfast, and coffee. Have no fear, because I stumbled on a fantastic little breakfast spot just off of Tuskawilla Road, the Tuskawilla Breakfast Club. The place gets crowded, but the food is absolutely incredible. I recommend the Gravy Dream omelette. No, I demand that you get that. Potatoes, sausage, and other stuff, too. You're welcome.
Now that you've recovered, you have two options for your day/night. There's NFL football, of course. It's Sunday, so that's a given. But if you're looking for one last hoorah to put the cherry on top of your weekend off, I've got the perfect spot. Head to Tanqueray's downtown, the basement bar on Orange Avenue. Some smooth live music is there every Sunday night in the form of a band called Ancient Sun, and trust me, you want to see the bassist do his thing. It's pretty impressive.
Now get home safely, and get yourself some rest. You have a work week to get through before City hosts the soccer Yankees.